Kay’s Kids
Ask many adults what they wanted to be when they grew up and the titles may hold a hint of glamour– brain surgeon, marine biologist.
Ask that question of Kay Butler, Battle Creek, and the answer will surprise you. “Physical therapist…for special kids.” She is therapist, counselor, teacher, and the person her special kids know as “mom.”
Kay has been a foster parent with Family & Children Services’ Battle Creek site since 1997 and a foster mom for 25 years. Kay easily recites her kids’ names, needs, and the ways in which she has given nurture to the 14 developmentally disabled individuals who have come into her home. Jean, 37, has been with her since the very beginning. Mindy, Larry, Deb, Kate, Allison, Danielle, Josh, Carl, Ashley, Casey, Deon, and Trevor. She is also guardian to Leeona, a child who has challenges posed by Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder and Bipolar Disorder. Some of these young people have stayed for weeks, others for years. Each newcomer changes the dynamics of the family for a time until they learn to love and adjust to one another. “They think of one another as sisters and brothers and cousins,” she says. The color of their skin or the capabilities each has or lacks makes no difference. “Over the year’s Jean’s family has become an extended family to use and we take care of each other’s special needs,” Kay adds.
The circumstances of these “special kids” can be overwhelming to many people: mental illness, extreme behavioral problems, cerebral palsy, and seizures, blindness, and hearing impairment. Ashley,18, has been with Kay since age six and has a “conglomeration” of disorders. Some problems have no known cause, others can be traced to poor prenatal care, exposure to toxins, or extreme abuse. Deon was severely burned, has a head injury, and is now disfigured.
“I just love him and treat him like everybody else,” Kay says as Deon watches Ashley cuddle close to Kay. Deon who once could only drag himself across the room can walk with a stilted gait and seeks a hug from her free arm. Danielle, 18, has been with Kay since she was six. Her moods can change in a moment, the result of exposure to high levels of lead as an infant and later, to abuse. Flashbacks for Danielle can be as debilitating as those experienced by soldiers returning from war zones and like them, she is diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder.
“I love Family & Children Services and the help I get from people there. They help me so I can help my kids,” Kay says.
Kay has help from a part-time assistant and three respite workers who work varying hours and shifts. Cinnamon, a cocker spaniel, completes the team.
“I have always liked special kids,” Kay says. “It’s what I was put on this earth for and it’s what I believe in.”
