A Team Process with Kids at Heart
Dave
and Yvonne Richards believe that the greatest threat to this
country is the breakdown of the American family. For more than
25 years they have provided shelter, solace, and security to
well over 65 children whose families were so broken, their young
lives were in turmoil. Children come to the Richards’ modest
Kalamazoo home frightened, angry, distrustful, and confused.
Foster parenting isn’t easy, but Dave and Yvonne have faith in kids and faith in teamwork. “This has to be a team process,” Yvonne explains. “I need the support of the children’s social workers and therapists. Family & Children Services is great to work with.” She offers praise for several private practice therapists and for the grandparents of one of the children who have become Grandpa and Grandma to the entire family.
Honored in 2008 by Family & Children Services for 25 years of service, Dave and Yvonne seemed embarrassed by the standing ovation from the Agency’s board and staff. For them, the greatest honor comes in the form of ongoing contact with children who have been a part of their family. Recently, they received a letter from one of three brothers who were among their first foster children. Now 24, Tyler* wrote about his life and that of his brothers since being with the Richards. They came as small boys and Dave recalls with a grin, “They were bouncing off the walls.” One brother is in the Army and will soon be stationed in Alaska, another is a tradesman, and the third works for a large company. Near the end of the letter, Tyler* wrote, “(We) were reunited with our biological parents…Stuart* wants nothing to do with them. I guess I understand. We realize how lucky we were to be taken from that situation….The little boys you once took in so many years ago are all grown men….you have played a vital role in our lives. I am grateful to have been able to be a part of your family. With love…”
The Richards have biological daughters, Amy and Sara, who are now 35 and 32, and over the years, adopted four of the girls in their care who came to them at the ages of 6, 8, 9, and16 and are now 17, 19, 25, and 43.
“No matter what they have been through,” Yvonne says firmly, “children want to go back to their biological parents. Because she and Dave are convinced that reunification must be the goal of fostering, she has written a step-by-step guide for biological parents to help them successfully reunite with their children. The guide is used by psychiatrists and other therapists.
Dave and Yvonne have witnessed powerful rages as children unleash pent up emotions. “Love is never enough,” they say in unison as they describe the process of helping a child to heal. “We are not miracle workers.”
In addition to foster parenting, Yvonne provides bedside care at a Kalamazoo hospice. Dave has retired from his work as a painting contractor. They say friends have been telling them to stop being foster parents and take time for themselves. He smiles, “We’ll probably be doing this until we’re a hundred. We love kids and love having them around.”
* Names have been changed.
