Having Someone in Our Corner
The ability to handle what life throws at you can be less daunting when you have someone to turn to for advice and encouragement.
As a brand new parent there is a precious margin of security in being able to pick up the phone to ask a trusted ally, “What do I do now?” when an infant’s cries turn to squalls, a spot becomes a rash, or what has just been fed comes right back up. But what is it like for the new mother who not only has no one to turn to but did not learn through her own upbringing, how to take proper care of the demanding little life that is suddenly entirely her responsibility?
Deanna, a 27-year old Battle Creek mother of a two-year old son and an infant daughter, can answer that question. “It is scary,” she says softly. “I had no one to talk to about being a mom or anything when Tony was born.” Physically and emotionally abused by her own parents as a small child, Deanna moved in and out of 17 foster care homes in another part of Michigan, forming no lasting attachments or sense of family. She married young, the marriage went badly. Her divorce was in process when she became pregnant by another man who wanted nothing to do with his child. “Tony was a surprise,” she admits, shrugging her shoulders.
It was soon after Tony was born that she met Homer, the man she has been with for the past two years. He is the father of her infant daughter, Nicole.
“I started out with Child Protective Services (CPS) coming around and checking on me,” Deanna explains, “because Tony was really thin and he was just crawling around and not talking very much. Someone in the neighborhood was concerned.” She is thoughtful for a moment as Tony smiles, chatters and comes to her for a hug. “A friend of mine told me about Family & Children Services and that’s when I met Sonya. She helps me a lot.”
Allegations of child abuse or neglect are
investigated by CPS which can then recommend in-home assistance
or order that a child be removed from the home for his or her
own safety. Deanna was referred to the Family & Children
Services’ Healthy Connections program which focuses on early
intervention and skill-building to reduce the stress of coping
with pregnancy or a new baby.
Sonya began making regular visits a year ago to the small apartment Deanna shares with her fiancée and children. Through Healthy Families she can remain closely involved with the family until the baby reaches the age of three. Together the two women talk about the progress the children are making, stretching a bare-bones income as far as possible, healthy nutrition, bonding, and good decision making.
“I had no one to talk to. Now I have Sonya. I call her all the time with questions,” Deanna says, auburn hair falling across her freckle-smattered face.
